Remembering Life at 5

Today is October 11th; the day before my sister Brenda and my anniversary of our car accident. I don't remember much from being 5; but for some reason, I have a pretty good memory of the car accident. I remember I was turned around and kneeling on the floor and using the front seat to color. I was talking to Brenda and telling her about school and a joke I had heard. I don't remember the exact moment of impact (which I am grateful for). But I do remember waking up and the dashboard was over me and I couldn't move. I had very little space to look around, but I noticed that Brenda was no longer in the car. I tried to look around for her, but again, I couldn't move.
I don't remember crying at all during this time; I just kept wondering if anyone realized I was in the car. A few minutes passed and I could hear a siren and several voices, still, no one seemed to know I was still their. At this point I was attempting to get my hand up to the window in hopes that someone would see it. I guess Brenda was already in the ambulance at this point, she was pretty bad off (though I never saw her until later). She once told me that she had told the paramedics that I was still in the car, so I'm sure they told someone else.
About 5 minutes passed, and I heard a male voice very near the car "Oh my God, we have a child in here, hurry get the door off."
At that point I was becoming a little unconscious again, but fought to stay awake because I was scared, but still never cried which worried everyone for some odd reason lol. I watched as they cut the door off, and can remember the face of the firefighter who stayed close to my head and talked to me to keep me calm. He was an older man, but he seemed very happy, he had laugh lines. I watched as they cut the dashboard away so they could pull me out. They handed me off to an older woman who had pulled over to help. She told me her name (but I can't remember it) and told me she was a nurse. She sat me on her coat on the side of the road, and about 3 other women surrounded me and covered me with their coats because I had said I was cold.
I kept feeling something running down my leg and it hurt. I was trying to look at it, and the lady who was a nurse said it was probably better if I didn't look at it. But me being the stubborn person that I am insisted on it. So I picked up my leg to see a large gash.
I looked up at the 4 very nice women who were doing everything they could to keep me calm and asked where my family was. They told me that my sister had gone on ahead in an ambulance, and that my parents had been contacted and were trying to find a ride to the hospital. They were trapped in Mexico, Missouri where their car had broken down and that is where Brenda and I were headed.
Finally 2 paramedics came over with a stretcher and loaded me onto it, and I thanked the nurse. I was loaded into the ambulance, where I didn't want to lay down. I tried and tried to sit up and see if I could find my sister (I had just understood that she was in an ambulance, but didn't understand which one). The paramedic was a very pretty blonde lady who must have been in her early 20's at the time. She showed me pictures of her kids, and gave me a some stickers, anything in an attempt to keep me laying down.
We finally arrive at the hospital, and my parents are their. My dad sat in the room with me while my mom was with Brenda. My dad held me while they stitched up the back of my leg and checked the rest of me out. Then my parents switched rooms and my mom sat with me for a little while. When I was done with the doctor, I remember Uncle Jim Tomlinson coming to pick me up at the hospital. That way both my parents could stay with Brenda because her hip had been crushed and needed immediate attention. He took me out to eat and then took me home and sat with me and my siblings for awhile.
I don't remember much else about that year, except Brenda stayed in the hospital for what seemed like an eternity. That year, somehow, my mom managed to make my Halloween costume. I went as a princess and trick or treated around the hospital so Brenda and the nurses could see me. I remember hating going back to school and cried every day after that when I went. I had a horrible teacher that year that didn't seem to really understand or care. But luckily I had a good principal who sat with me until I calmed down.
Every year since, Brenda and I have celebrated life, we both could have easily been lost that day. My dad had gone to see the car after the accident, and a few years ago told me that the entire front end had been ripped off and it was amazing that we weren't worse off. So I ask you, what have you done to celebrate lately? Have you told those close to you that you love them today? If not, go hug them and let them know. Take life a little slower, everyone is in such a hurry...we hurry so much that we miss out.

I'm keeping the Hospital in Buisness

So I went to see a urologist this week because I've had this UTI for over a month. I ended up getting a catheter...YUCK and OUCH! I guess the good thing that came out of it is my doctor had a very sexy voice. Let's see, since I last posted, I got a puppy. Which most of you know. His name is Jasper and he is a puggle, pug beagle mix. He is cute, but VERY VERY active. I guess that is normal for any puppy though. Anyway, I really feel like I don't have much to report right now except those two things. Just trying to get by until December when I can have my surgery and find out more. Love ya'll.

Life's Lessons

It's funny how in life we can learn so much in the most unexpected ways or places. I've learned that life can change in the blink of an eye, it moves fast so we need to make the most of the time we have. We aren't always going to get what we want, but the things we do get make us better; whether they are good or bad. Sometimes people hurt you, and you have your choices on this. You can choose to let what they say or do truly affect you, or you can simply walk away. The 2nd part is the hardest, but once we learn this wonderful trait, life will be so much more simple.

You will get your heart broken at some point, you will also break someone's heart. Just remember to be as kind as possible and remember how you felt when it happened. Sometimes we aren't given choices, we just have to roll with the punches. Sometimes the choices we are given just plain suck, we need to choose the better of the two evils. Everyone needs a friend. Love doesn't come freely, everyone pays a price. Learn to notice the little things in life. Everyone should watch at least one sunset and sunrise in their lifetime. Carry a camera with you, you never know when you will want to remember something.

Dance like no one is watching. Travel to somewhere you've never been. Love like you have nothing to lose. Learn as much as possible about all the things you can. Open Up. Repeat as needed, but not particularly in this order.

Get Lost so you can find your way back. Go home, it doesn't matter if your are 15 or 95. Be generous, doesn't matter if you have everything or nothing at all. Discover your past, it can be the best part of your future, but don't dwell on it. Love your family, they did the best they knew how to do. Don't blame them for all the crap in your life. Let the people who are important in your life know it. Most importantly, love yourself, sometimes we are our harshest critics.

The Things That Make Me

Things you may not have known about me, but now you will!!! Scary huh! So here goes! I listen to classical music during thunder storms for a better effect. I like to stop and smell the roses. I hate my hair longer than my shoulders, I think its harder to take care of. When it comes to pain, I'm a big baby. I love to wander off and explore. Bookstores are my weakness. You can generally tell my mood by what music I'm listening to. I love being around people and having people's attention, but when it comes to giving talks and speeches I am noticeably nervous. I HATED junior high. I'm a flirt, if you haven't noticed. I think it's funny to embarrass my parents. When I'm an old lady, I want to be the old dog lady that has bright red hair and goes to Bingo every Thursday with my bag of rabbits feet and lucky ducks. I'm a daydreamer to a fault. I think the general public is full of morons and idiots. I'm afraid to get to close to people, my fear of rejection gets the best of me. I look up to my siblings. I love having my hair played with, I find it relaxing. I'm afraid of failure. I do everything I know how to succeed. I read to much into things that I shouldn't. I hate being dependent on people. My favorite scene in the world is at River View Park in Hannibal overlooking the river.

6 Months and Waiting

News from the doctors appointment in Columbia: Dr. Hunter seems to believe I need a hysterectomy and soon. I was giving pretty much two options, one have a hysterectomy now and not worry about the things to come. Two, take a hormone pill for 6 months, have another DC and biopsy surgery to see what the cells are doing. There are major risks with either choice, the hysterectomy we know the risks and the outcome of not having kids...but I won't have to worry about cancer. The risks of the medicine is that it curves my appetite and will probably make me gain weight, also I have a 30-50% chance of the pre cancer cells forming into cancer. Those are high numbers but what I keep thinking is "So I get cancer, but when? Do I have a few months..few years...a decade?" There is no time limit as to when or if the cancer will form. Is it worth it to risk it and see? Seems like I am just choosing the lesser of two evils right now, I told the doctor I wanted the meds. 6 months is 6 months, no sense in making such a drastic choice right now, right?

I'm sick of Doctors, and Yet Can't Seem To Stay Away!

Hey boys and girls! Been a few weeks since I posted. What's been happening since then you may ask well...I have been to see Dr. Bennett, who I LOVE by the way. He is the best OB GYN I have ever been too. I have been in for surgery and have gotten the following results. I had a lot of palups on my uterus and in my cervix apparently. I had a lot of pre cancer cells as well. I am being referred to a doctor in Columiba more or less for a consultation to make sure that he agrees with what Dr. Bennett is saying and treating.

Anybody ELSE engaged?

So this week alone I have gotten 3 wedding invites as well as helping another good friend of mine with her wedding plans. It truly feels like everyone else in the world has someone and I'm stuck here in singleton. I'm not really saying I need someone to make me happy, I think it's more that I am feeling a little left behind and more like a third wheel with anyone I hang out with. I've always been little miss social...so I'm not really sure what to do now. I do have a date coming up, but unfortunately neither of us could get together until the end of May. I guess that is something to look forward to.

Memphis

I want these!!!

Is it Friday yer???

I'm ready for it to be Friday, I'm ready for a vacation! Memphis should be fun, Andrea and I have a lot of stuff planned out. I doubt we will get to see everything that we want, but with any luck at all we will! Andrea and I are both history buffs, so we are visiting a few museums and music stuff. Even though it's just a 3 day trip...I plan on it being an adventure. Why you may ask, because I will make it one! That's about all I have to talk about right now, more to come!

Prince Charming Applications

Ok, so when I was younger (15-18), whenever I was at a church dance or an EFY or something I would hand one of these out to all the guys. Everyone seemed to get a kick out of them, I even got a few back filled out. If you know of anyone to hand them to and have them send one to me with a picture that sounds good to me HAHA!!

Prince Charming Application

1. Full Name:

2. Hometown:

3. How many people are in your family:

4. Are you currently working, in school or both:

5. What is your life's ambition:

6. Favorite Song:

7. Favorite Movie:

8. Where would you take me on our first date:

9. What one question would you love to ask me:

10. Could you flatter me:

Extroverted Person Living in an Introverted World

I've been back in Hannibal for pretty much a year now, and it hasn't been the worst thing in the world. But today is Saturday....and I went to the movies....BY MYSELF!!! It's hard to make friends here when everyone I come into contact with is at least 10 years older than me and seems to be in a relationship. Even my friends in Columbia seem to have moved on, having relationships, having different jobs, having babies, etc etc etc. I tend to be the social butterfly, so when this happens, it drives me nuts!! Hopefully I can find something that will fix this situation and soon.

I think a hysterectomy sounds GREAT!

Same old medical problem, my period, only WORSE! The nurse practitioner put me on birth control which seemed to work for a whopping 5 days and then my symptoms came back only much much worse. I've been lucky in the sense that I've never really had cramps with my periods, that is until I started birth control. My next appointment with the nurse was scheduled for two days after my birthday, but I can't live like this anymore. I am going straight to a doctor because I'm fed up and I can't live like this! I feel more tired, more irritable, cramping and just a general YUCK. I just would like some general answers as to what is going on beside "oh it must be due to your weight." Excuse me but that isn't an acceptable answer, there are many big people in the world that don't have this problem. I understand weight can play a part, but....c'mon! I sure hope my doctor can give me some answers, keep me in your prayers

Don't Pee on the Police Station!!!

This weekend was my friend Michelle's 30th birthday. I drove to Columbia Saturday morning to hang out with her for the weekend and be her designated driver as she planed to drink (a lot). I typically have no problem being the designated driver, I rather people be responsible and call me than be stupid and stumble around or worse...drive. Plus, being the designated driver gets you some good blackmail stories!!! My friends are pretty cool too and always show their appreciation for me driving them by treating me to dinner or buying me soda's while they drink. I don't expect them to do this, but it's nice that they do it.

ANYWAY, we went to Mc Nally's in Columbia and it was PACKED, so we had to opt for a table outside instead of inside and it was chilly. Of course I was bored with nothing to really do but babysit a group of drunken adults. I played the bathroom monitor and pretty much made sure no one hurt themselves. When we went to leave Michelle couldn't make it up the hill to the car, she was 'sick'. So I had to run and get the car and pick up her and 3 other friends of ours. Two of our friends decided they wanted to walk over to the police station and pee on it. Not a good idea, especially considering that their was a group of police standing outside. So I had to wrangle everyone into the car and get them buckled in. Then the two that wanted to relieve themselves rolled down the windows so they could yell at the police. I am grateful to have automatic windows, I rolled up the windows and put it on lock so I was the only one who could control the windows.

I managed to get everyone home and in good condition (even if they weren't sober.) But let me just say....it wore me out and I probably won't ever be a designated driver again (too much responsibility and stupidity.)

The Birthday Bash

My dad's party was a big hit. I am so glad that we had so many people show up (55 people filed through the house.) He seemed to have a lot of fun and was surrounded by family and friends. Here are some pictures of the lovely event.

A series of doctos appointments

So I finally have insurance after a few years without. I guess having a hospital job is good for that right!?!?! Anyway, so I am taking advantage of my insurance to have some much needed maintenance done such as going to the dentist and OB GYN doctors. I went to the dentist on Saturday morning and was impressed by him. The last dentist I saw informed me that I was in need of a root canal and since I didn't have insurance it would cost me well over 2 grand. Who has that kind of money, certainly not me!

So I put it off, well I decided to switch dentists and see about a second opinion and man am I glad that I did. I was informed that I was not in need of a root canal and that a simple filling would suffice. I was grateful for the news of no root canal, but at a closer look at my X Ray the dentist informed me that I still have a baby tooth (which I knew about, but was told that it wouldn't come out because there was no tooth to replace it.) Well, my new dentist said that I had a tooth to replace the baby one but it was growing diagonal instead of vertical and if it moved at all could cause major dental damage. He said that he would keep an eye on the tooth just to make sure, and that it was possible he could be wrong and it could be a bone. It is at a very tricky position in my mouth as to tell without further investigation. But he assured me he would keep a watchful eye on it and would inform me of any alterations.

My next doctors visit is this Thursday, and I'm not exactly thrilled about it. I can't think of a single person who would be thrilled about going to an OB GYN no matter the circumstance. This is an humiliating problem, but one that I have dealt with for a while. I have been on my menstrual cycle for over a year now. Again, I haven't seen a doctor due to lack of insurance and lack of personal funds. I have always had a slight problem with this problem but this is getting out of hand. The last doctor I saw about this problem informed me that it was due to my weight, doubtful. I am sure my weight may have a something to do with it, but I believe that their is more to the problem. I am antsy about the doctors, but who wouldn't be right?!?! Anyway, I will keep you all posted!

Tag Your Giveaway

OK, so this is a little bit of a twist/combination of tag/pay it forward...here goes...

The first 5 people to respond and follow through on this post will get something homemade by me!

Here are the restrictions and limitations that protect me in the giveaway:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. I get to choose, you just get to receive!

2. What I create will be made just for you, one of a kind...unless it is cookies, they are made all the time and not so one of a kind, but they will be made just for you just the same.

3. It will be done this year... hopefully sooner rather than later.

4. The gift may or may not be edible, wearable or recyclable!

5. In order to be a winner, you must repost this on your blog.

The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me you did will receive one FABULOUS homemade gift by me!

After I choose the winners, you can send me your mailing address!
Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you receive it!

Walking in Memphis

Walking in Memphis!
Put on my blue suede shoes
And I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain
W.C. Handy -- won't you look down over me
Cause I got a first class ticket
But I'm as blue as a boy can be
Walking in Memphis
Walking with my feet ten feet off of the Beale
Walking in Memphis
Do I really feel the way I feel
Saw the ghost of Elvis
On Union Avenue
Followed him up to the gates of Graceland
Then I watched him walk right through
Now security they did not see him
They just hovered 'round his tomb
But there's a pretty little thing
Waiting on the King
Down in the Jungle Room
(Chorus)
They've got catfish on the table
They've got gospel in the air
And Reverend Green be glad to see you
When you haven't got a prayer
But you got a prayer in Memphis
Now Muriel plays piano
Every Friday at the Hollywood
And they brought me down to see her
And they asked me if I would --
Do a little number
And I sang with all my might
And she said --
"Tell me are you a Christian child?"
And I said "Ma'am I am tonight"
(Chorus)
Put on my blue suede shoes
And I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain

So I assume that most of you have heard this song. This is a good song and will be the theme for my upcoming road trip. My good friend Andrea and I in fact plan on acting out this song to the best of our abilities! We are going as far as to create a cardboard cut out of Elvis to make it look like the Ghost of Elvis so he can stand at the gates of graceland. We found a great picture of W. C. Handy and will be sure to take a picture of him looking over us!! The best part would be if we could find someone named Muriel playing the piano...but that is doubtful. I have planned several other things for us to do and see along the way, but it is great to have this be the basis of what promises to be a great road trip.

Over the weekend I went to Columbia. Friday Andrea and I went Ice Skating with some people from Institute. I have never been ice skating so it was a very eventful experience. I managed to stand in the ice skates which I was worried about. I even managed to get on the ice and not fall down once (of course I was a nerd and used an ice skating walker like an old lady!) It was fun and I would consider doing it again! Well, that's about it for now, any suggestions on things to see while in Memphis would be great!

The Urge to be Free...

So it seems to have really hit me this week and I'm not sure if it's the weather or just the fact that I am bored out of my mind. But I am bored out of my mind, here I am in Hannibal with a few friends but none that I hang out with on a regular basis like I did in Columbia. I work a full time job, go to church, come home go to bed, get a full 8 hours of sleep, attempt to eat healthy, diet, and I do almost all the things an adult should do yet I don't feel like an adult. I mean that I don't feel like an adult in the sense that I don't feel as though I've had my one great life adventure that I believe everyone should have that kind of transitions us into adulthood. I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for or expecting here but I'm on the watch for it.

I just have the urge to do something truly fun, daring, maybe even a little scandalize. I want to see the world before I'm expected to settle down and sit behind a desk, before I'm expected to grow up and put most of my dreams behind me. Yes I do still have several hopes and wishes for the future that would require me to grow up and be an adult such as have a family, work at a good job (which I have the job part down), have a home of my own.

I just need to create my own excitement somehow, stir things up a bit, but how and by what means? Possibly a road trip...cross country? Who knows, any suggestions...I need something to look forward to, something to get me through the long drawn out workweek.

I will be the biggest looser

So the hospital that I work at will soon be starting up a Biggest Looser competition from January 12th to the end of May. On staff will be a dietitian and a personal trainer to consult with. Whoever has lost the most weight in that time frame wins $300. I plan on participating and believe that I have a very good chance at winning. For me this means I need to get my will power in check, I need to cut back on the oh-so-loved sweets and cut back on soda. I'm not too worried about the soda part considering that all I drink at work is water, I just need to drink water while at home. I am however worried about the sweets part...I am very aware of my sweet tooth and know that it has gotten me in trouble. I just need to kick it in the butt and buckle down. Even when the competition is over if I am not the winner I know I will still be a winner because I will have tried. I hope everyone that reads this will help to be a support for me, I know I will need it. Words of encouragement will be much appreciated. Happy New Year everyone!