10/11/09

Remembering Life at 5



Today is October 11th; the day before my sister Brenda and my anniversary of our car accident. I don't remember much from being 5; but for some reason, I have a pretty good memory of the car accident. I remember I was turned around and kneeling on the floor and using the front seat to color. I was talking to Brenda and telling her about school and a joke I had heard. I don't remember the exact moment of impact (which I am grateful for). But I do remember waking up and the dashboard was over me and I couldn't move. I had very little space to look around, but I noticed that Brenda was no longer in the car. I tried to look around for her, but again, I couldn't move.
I don't remember crying at all during this time; I just kept wondering if anyone realized I was in the car. A few minutes passed and I could hear a siren and several voices, still, no one seemed to know I was still their. At this point I was attempting to get my hand up to the window in hopes that someone would see it. I guess Brenda was already in the ambulance at this point, she was pretty bad off (though I never saw her until later). She once told me that she had told the paramedics that I was still in the car, so I'm sure they told someone else.
About 5 minutes passed, and I heard a male voice very near the car "Oh my God, we have a child in here, hurry get the door off."
At that point I was becoming a little unconscious again, but fought to stay awake because I was scared, but still never cried which worried everyone for some odd reason lol. I watched as they cut the door off, and can remember the face of the firefighter who stayed close to my head and talked to me to keep me calm. He was an older man, but he seemed very happy, he had laugh lines. I watched as they cut the dashboard away so they could pull me out. They handed me off to an older woman who had pulled over to help. She told me her name (but I can't remember it) and told me she was a nurse. She sat me on her coat on the side of the road, and about 3 other women surrounded me and covered me with their coats because I had said I was cold.
I kept feeling something running down my leg and it hurt. I was trying to look at it, and the lady who was a nurse said it was probably better if I didn't look at it. But me being the stubborn person that I am insisted on it. So I picked up my leg to see a large gash.
I looked up at the 4 very nice women who were doing everything they could to keep me calm and asked where my family was. They told me that my sister had gone on ahead in an ambulance, and that my parents had been contacted and were trying to find a ride to the hospital. They were trapped in Mexico, Missouri where their car had broken down and that is where Brenda and I were headed.
Finally 2 paramedics came over with a stretcher and loaded me onto it, and I thanked the nurse. I was loaded into the ambulance, where I didn't want to lay down. I tried and tried to sit up and see if I could find my sister (I had just understood that she was in an ambulance, but didn't understand which one). The paramedic was a very pretty blonde lady who must have been in her early 20's at the time. She showed me pictures of her kids, and gave me a some stickers, anything in an attempt to keep me laying down.
We finally arrive at the hospital, and my parents are their. My dad sat in the room with me while my mom was with Brenda. My dad held me while they stitched up the back of my leg and checked the rest of me out. Then my parents switched rooms and my mom sat with me for a little while. When I was done with the doctor, I remember Uncle Jim Tomlinson coming to pick me up at the hospital. That way both my parents could stay with Brenda because her hip had been crushed and needed immediate attention. He took me out to eat and then took me home and sat with me and my siblings for awhile.
I don't remember much else about that year, except Brenda stayed in the hospital for what seemed like an eternity. That year, somehow, my mom managed to make my Halloween costume. I went as a princess and trick or treated around the hospital so Brenda and the nurses could see me. I remember hating going back to school and cried every day after that when I went. I had a horrible teacher that year that didn't seem to really understand or care. But luckily I had a good principal who sat with me until I calmed down.
Every year since, Brenda and I have celebrated life, we both could have easily been lost that day. My dad had gone to see the car after the accident, and a few years ago told me that the entire front end had been ripped off and it was amazing that we weren't worse off. So I ask you, what have you done to celebrate lately? Have you told those close to you that you love them today? If not, go hug them and let them know. Take life a little slower, everyone is in such a hurry...we hurry so much that we miss out.